WesSafari Birthday Bangalang Barter Faire

I turned 39 on November 7th and had the shittiest birthday yet. It was worse than going to Disneyworld for my dirty 30th and finding out that they didn't serve alcohol at the flagship theme park. 




Hello, my name is DDomNation. DD because duh, OM for my yoga practice, Nation because I'm 3 miles short of a National Disaster. 

I was born a month before my best friend WesSir BurnsAlot. We both grew up poor, made our riches, and have systematically had our lives stripped away from us. My main problem has been alcohol, his name problem has been health issues. Secondary problems are the women we choose, and to complete the tri-fecta, we give each other the worst advice ever and roll with it. 

My birthday was celebrated with my bags packed, checked out of a hotel, at a hot springs, with NOT ONE SINGLE FRIEND AROUND. I got stranded, and to make a long story short, I spent the entire day in seething rage, sitting on various couches, staring at people in awe why they wouldn't talk to someone that looks so upset at such a happy place. 

I swore on my life I would never wish this upon anybody. 

Ladies and Gentleman, 

It is time we celebrate the GOOD FUCKING DUDE we all know as Bart GodON. 

He is my best friend. I don't give a fuck if I am the only one that shows up. 

WE LIGHT THE FIRE AT DAWN.

We are burning useful shit, non useful shit, probably toxic for the air shit, and all of the bullshit that will not fit into a tiny bedroom in the suburbian hell of VancTucky. 

I will be burning all the shit that I no longer deem neccessary from my mobile home aka the aFORDable FUCKUS. 

Minor explosions are expected, please bring your burning man attire. 

Gas masks, extra gas, gloves and boots are reccommended but not important if you feel like being a man or woman enough to show off your talents of not setting yoruself completely on fire.

The location, due to the fact that we don't want any negative nancies, is undisclosed. 

I can tell you that it is NOT at the new land and it is NOT on private property. 

We didn't start the fire, it's been burning since 1984

My new company, DDOMNATION Productions, is sponsoring the event. 

Considering I have no money, donations are welcome so we can print maps on the fly.

Just kidding, I don't have a company because absolutely no one in their right mind would loan me money in the mental state I am in right now. W

Which, considering I got evicted three times, fired from my steady job, and bankrupted myself 8 times in the past month, I think I'm doing pretty good. 

Time to burn all the shit that is bogging Wes and I down from our long and dreary paths to success.

Please join us in celebrating my Brotha From Anotha Mutha, the one true 

Bad Ass Mutha FUCKA ( BAMF ) I know...


Wesley B Godon


Blowing out our 30's like its 1999 or whatever earth ending catastrophy man can think of. 2012?  The year Obama got elected? No wait, it was when Trump got elected. FUCK THEM ALL

BURNING BAGGAGE 2022 IS REAL.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Step by Step Guide to Getting Banned From the “Friendliest” Country in North America HINT They Say Eh alot

ASDF Look Mom! I'm Banned From Canada!!!! 12345678 The year was 2001. It was a momentous time for a strapping young 17 year old named Dominic Cattadoris. High School was over! Time to do whatever happens after that! After 4 years of not really caring about school, Dominic somehow managed to graduate with more than acceptable grades. During the Senior year, most of the teachers were all about prepping everyone to live the American Dream: Pass BS tests, pick you’re favorite college, apply for all of them, and than go. Because that is what you are supposed to do, right? Go get that degree. Go be the best capitalist out there. Go sit behind you’re cubicle, swipe right on Tinder while you’re married. Well, I managed to get in to Washington State University without wanting to or trying to. The WSU experience could make a whole new post. This is about Canada. But you need some background information. Remember, being banned from Canada is sweet. You will never be able to experience Banff N...
Read more

how to hack Spotify #101

Image
Music should be free. Albums are for sale because they cost money to record and produce among other things. Royalties blah blah blah.  First we had sticks than drums than.... Chants Ohms Than we had tin can and string We started recording it into ..... 8 tracks.  Records CD cassette blah blah Than we transmit it with radios Ham radios CBs K. Than we got computers.  Mp3 was developed to compress CDs ripped onto computers ( *.wav ) Before: Spotify, Pandora, limewire, all those snazzy applications there was computer and computer In order to talk to each other they needed to be connected. With a wire. Or a cord, however you wish to call it.  The network was created. Networking computers together with cables Anyways, I started using Internet Relay Chats when I was pre teen.  Copied some basic code to download thousands of songs through government servers File transfer protocol. The Internet was created by the government so obviously they can see everything.  Bac...
Read more